LONELINESS: NAVIGATING YOUR SINGLENESS AND THOUGHTS OF LONELINESS DURING THE HOLIDAYS
Valentine’s Day often brings with it images of roses, chocolate, and romantic dinners. But for many people, especially those who are single, it can stir up feelings of loneliness, comparison, and disconnection. Whether you’re supporting a friend or exploring this experience yourself, it’s important to understand what loneliness is, how it shows up, and ways to navigate this time with care.
WHAT IS LONELINESS?
Loneliness is a subjective emotional experience that occurs when there’s a gap between the social connections a person desires and those they actually have. It’s not simply being alone; instead, it’s feeling alone even when people might surround you. This emotional state can have both psychological and physical impacts on well-being, particularly when persistent.
COMMON SIGNS OF FEELING ALONE OR ISOLATED:
Loneliness can look different from person to person, but common signs include:
Emotional Indicators: persistent sadness, disappointment around social events, longing for connection.
Cognitive Patterns: frequent negative self-talk or comparisons to others’ lives
Behavioural Shifts: withdrawing from social activities, avoiding events, or losing interest in hobbies.
Physical or Mental Health Impacts: disrupted sleep, changes in appetite, or increased anxiety.
Remember…these are common human experiences, not personal failings!
STATISTICS:
Canadian data highlights that loneliness affects people across all age groups, with notable prevalence among youth. Roughly 23% of Canadians aged 15–24 reported feeling lonely “always or often” in recent national surveys. Overall, about 13–14% of Canadians aged 15 and older say they frequently feel lonely, and that’s just the official figure for “always or often” feelings of loneliness, which doesn’t capture those who feel lonely less frequently but still meaningfully so.
Statistics Canada: https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/11-627-m/11-627-m2021090-eng.htm?utm_source
VALENTINE’S DAY BLUES:
According to the Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA), feelings of sadness, loneliness, or anxiety around Valentine’s Day are not uncommon, even among those in relationships. Some people dread the day more than they look forward to it, and many wish they had more connections or feel dissatisfied with their love life.
CMHA: https://northernbc.cmha.ca/10-tips-for-the-valentines-day-blues/
The commercial and cultural spotlight on romantic love can unintentionally reinforce what people don’t have, rather than what they do have, leading to lower mood and self-comparison.
THERAPEUTIC TIPS TO REDUCE FEELINGS OF LONELINESS:
Self-Compassion and Emotional Care
Acknowledge your feelings without judgment. Loneliness is a valid human experience, not a character flaw.
Practice self-care (e.g., watch a favourite movie, cook a nourishing meal, journal your thoughts etc.)
Connection and Community
Reach out to friends or family for a phone call, walk, or coffee. Connection looks different for everyone.
Participate in group activities or volunteer opportunities to foster meaningful social engagement.
Mindful Social Media Use
Take intentional breaks from social media if content increases comparison or distress.
Remember that online portrayals of relationships are curated snapshots, not the full reality.
Photo Credit: https://www.linkedin.com/posts/srinivasulasravan_never-measure-your-progress-with-someone-activity-7201899292846878721-31Z6
Reframing Singleness
Celebrate singleness as an opportunity for self-discovery, growth, and autonomy.
Consider planning solo activities you enjoy or hosting a singles-friendly gathering.
Professional and Peer Support
Encourage participation in peer support groups or mental health programming if loneliness feels overwhelming.
Reminder…reaching out for support is a strength, not a weakness.
CMHA (2025)
GENTLE REMINDERS:
Loneliness is a universal human experience rather than a source of shame, and it’s important to remember that being single never diminishes your inherent worth. While Valentine’s Day is just a single moment on the calendar, your value is defined by a lifetime of diverse connections, including deep friendships, community ties, and a healthy relationship with yourself.
Reaching out for support from friends or professionals is a powerful act of resilience, proving that you never have to navigate your journey alone. Here at Nürish Psychotherapy, we are here to support you in navigating these complex feelings. You’re not alone.
REFERNECES:
Canadian Mental Health Association of Northern BC. (2025). 10 tips for the Valentine’s Day blues. https://northernbc.cmha.ca/10-tips-for-the-valentines-day-blues/ CMHA of Northern BC Branch
Statistics Canada. (2021). Loneliness in Canada: Findings from the Canadian Social Survey. https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/pub/11-627-m/11-627-m2021090-eng.htm Statistics Canada
Written by: Patrice Hall-Johnson, RP (Qualifying)