How to Handle Comments About Body Weight During the Holidays
As an eating disorder therapist in Ottawa, Ontario, I know how challenging the holidays can be for people navigating body image concerns, disordered eating, or eating disorder recovery. While this season is often described as joyful and family centered, it can also bring increased exposure to comments about weight, food, and appearance. For many people, these comments are not harmless. They can be painful, triggering, and disruptive to healing.
If you find yourself feeling anxious before gatherings because you expect remarks about your body or eating habits, you are not alone. Comments like “You look so thin,” “Have you gained weight?” or “Should you really be eating that?” are common during the holidays. Even when they are framed as concern or compliments, they can have a real emotional impact.
Why Comments About Weight Can Be Triggering
Weight focused comments often reinforce the belief that body size equals worth, health, or success. For individuals with a history of disordered eating or an eating disorder, these messages can quickly activate shame, comparison, and old patterns of thinking. Even positive comments about weight loss can feel destabilizing and may interfere with recovery.
Feeling affected by these comments does not mean you are overly sensitive. It means you are responding to a culture that places far too much value on body size. Recognizing this is an important step in protecting your mental health during the holidays.
Setting Boundaries Around Body and Food Talk
You are allowed to set boundaries around conversations about your body, weight, or food choices. You do not owe anyone explanations about your health or appearance.
Boundaries can be simple and respectful. Examples include saying that you are not discussing your body, sharing that weight talk is not helpful for you, or redirecting the conversation to another topic. You are also allowed to disengage, step away, or choose not to respond at all.
Setting boundaries is a form of self care, not rudeness.
Preparing for Holiday Gatherings
If you anticipate weight related comments, it can be helpful to prepare ahead of time. Consider thinking through which comments you might ignore and which ones you want to address. Practicing responses in advance can make it easier to speak up if needed. Identifying a supportive friend or family member at the gathering or having someone you can text afterward can also make a difference.
Planning ahead does not mean you expect things to go badly. It means you are prioritizing your emotional well being.
Supporting Your Nervous System in the Moment
If a comment catches you off guard, your body may react before you have time to think. You might notice anxiety, anger, or a sudden urge to withdraw. In these moments, focusing on regulation can help.
Slow your breathing, notice your surroundings, and remind yourself that one comment does not define you or your recovery. You do not need to have the perfect response. Your first responsibility is taking care of yourself.
Redefining the Holidays on Your Terms
The holidays are not a measure of your discipline, health, or body size. They are not a test of recovery. You are allowed to participate in ways that feel supportive, even if that looks different from past years or from family expectations.
This may mean limiting time with certain people, opting out of specific conversations, or creating new traditions that feel safer and more nourishing.
A Gentle Reminder
Your body is not a topic for public discussion.
Your worth is not determined by your appearance.
Your recovery does not require anyone else’s approval.
If the holidays bring up difficult emotions around food, body image, or eating disorder recovery, support is available. Working with an eating disorder therapist in Ontario can help you build tools to navigate these moments with greater safety and self compassion.